Tuesday, October 29, 2013

An Open Letter to Huckleberry

Photo Courtesy Kitchen Runway.
Dearest Huckleberry -

I love you (examples here and here and here). Not in like a creepy way. More like an uncomfortably infatuated way. Like, I'd totally take you to Winter Ball if you would accept. You mean that much to me. As a Santa Monican, your breakfast/brunch is pretty much the blood in my veins. Every time my buddies and I decide where to grab the day's most important meal, it always starts with "Huckleberry, for sure," and it usually ends with us stuffing our skulls with your delicious, fresh fare. Your bread pudding is the tits. Your breakfast potatoes could kick anyone else's breakfast potatoes' ass. That Indian-spiced avocado-carrot salad thing? Avocadelicious. However, I've got a beef. The level of beef Taylor Swift would write a very popular song about.

On the weekends, you offer a Breakfast Burrito. The best breakfast burrito I've ever had. Not even close. LA Weekly foolishly rated it fourth best in the city, but, come on, they used your burrito as the lead picture in the post for a reason. It's fucking gorgeous. It's the Kate Upton of breakfast burritos. Curvaceous, vivacious and All-American-ious (California cheddar! California potatoes! California meat!). The perfect combination of fluffy scrambled eggs, roasted onions, just sharp enough cheddar, well-seasoned potatoes, fresh guac and tasty sausage or bacon, all wrapped in a lightly-toasted warm blanket of a tortilla. The housemade tomatillo salsa on the side also doesn't suck. It's the sort of breakfast burrito that just makes the rest of your day better because you know you've begun with the pinnacle. So what if the rest of the day sucks balls? You've already reached the apex. 

However, this transcendent experience is inexcusably available only on the weekends! WHAT?! Come on! That's just utter tomfoolery. The only thing that gets me through my weekly Temescal hikes is daydreaming of that Breakfast Burrito. Honestly, without BB halluincations and mirages, there is no way I survive those hikes. They're the wind in my sails. But, if it's not the weekend, I do not get the prize I deserve. I'm denied my prize. And I know I'm not alone. When I visit for weekend brunch, it's common to see a table of six all digging into breakfast burritos. Nor, is it uncommon to hear a patron on a Tuesday or Wednesday remarking on its unavailability. 

Why not make them available all week long, so this joy can be spread daily? I know I've spoke to co-owner Josh about this. He said he'd consider. And I do understand the logistics of making the tortillas/chips, etc. Doesn't mean it's impossible though. Josh, you're a lifelong Santa Monican and your wife, Zoe, an adopted local, so tell me this... do you guys really strive to make the city you love less happy? Is that what you're shooting for?

In all seriousness, it's a boss breakfast burrito. And it would be splendiferous if it could be available every day of the week. 

Big Ups and Mad Respect,
The Unemployed Eater

Photo Courtesy of ponderossa.


  1. can't modify the damn thing. never had it.

  2. I'd like that too! Esp. since I don't have patience for Huckleberry on the weekends when it's a madhouse….

  3. You really love Huckleberry. You write about it constantly.