Thursday, March 31, 2016

UPDATE: An Open Letter To La Brea Bakery.

UPDATE (4/1/16): Jolly news! La Brea Bakery Cafe has commented. On the Twitter machine they inform me the LBB Cobb is NOT gone forever. Rather it's currently the causality of a hyper seasonal menu. Whether a Cobb of all things should be subject to seasonality is another story, but I am happy to report it will be back... at some point. When? Well, I asked that very question and they coyly responded: "Keep an eye out for updates :)" So, I guess we all should follow them on Twitter.

Dearest La Brea Bakery Cafe:

I want you to put your finest imagination cap on and imagine, JUST IMAGINE, the following: a salad so good one male recommends it to other males. An award-winning salad. A salad so fresh half the ingredients are picked from the freaking ground the morning of. A salad so hearty it has never left a man, woman or child hungry. A salad with the perfect amount of every topping. An idyllic salad your restaurant can be proud to bear its initials. 

Imagine that salad. Sounds fucking perfect, right? It is. Or shall I say, it was. As this exact salad, the LBB Cobb -- leafy romaine base, cubed chicken breast, pungent blue cheese, applewood-smoked bacon, diced egg whites, grape tomatoes and corn with a lemon oregano vinaigrette -- recently vacated your menu for some unknown reason. In the words of the venerable Chris Berman, it was "Back, back, back... Cobb." Poof. See ya. Never again would the good people be graced with its transcendent talents. 

I ask though: Why?

Let me ask again: why?

And, well, why?

I loved this salad. In a city filled to the brim in Cobb salads, it was a top five'r fo sho. I ordered it every time I entered your sun-soaked conclave of a bakery cafe. A few years ago, when on a self-imposed carb-low Dude Wedding Diet, I probably consumed the LBB Cobb once a week. And I know I'm not alone. This was a beloved salad with universal acclaim. Like the "Hamilton" of salads.

Now, what would it take to get this salad back? Because it needs to be back. La Brea Bakery Cafe is the sort of place that should have a good Cobb Salad on their menu. It's a good Cobb Salad sorta place. You know that. Everybody knows that.

I get it. It appears you spruced up your bill of fare, deciding to go with a more modern set of lettuce plates. Which is fine. Totally fine. But updating and modernizing doesn't mean you have to rid yourself of the classics. Especially when it's the best thing on the menu. Would we lay a classic, like, say, Helen Mirren to the waste side just because she's getting up in age? No. Hell no. That would be silly and frivolous and unjustified and a global catastrophe.

Now, do you want to be a part of global catastrophe? I don't think so. Give me a shout and we'll talk about fixing this egregious error. Let's get that Cobb salad back, so it can make Los Angelenos happy again.

Sincerely Sincere,